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Emotional resilience is something we all want and need in order to face life unencumbered by unrealistic fears and to communicate freely with the people we love most.
This book by expert David Viscott is a handbook for living the life you want and deserve. Reading Emotional Resilience is like having your own wise and supportive therapist at your elbow, helping you through hard times, difficult days, and unhappy relationships. All of the knowledge and insight of Dr. Viscott's distinguished career is distilled into this book and its ten basic truths that can change your life.
1. Tell the truth.
2. Face life openly. (what you avoid imprisons you.)
3. Say what you mean, feel, believe.
4. Accept yourself as you are.
5. Accept others as they are.
6. Know and accept your weaknesses.
7. Stop trying to prove yourself.
8. Let go of the past.
9. Give up false expectations.
10. Take responsibility for your life and how it turned out.
What you are willing to take responsibility for frees you.
Dr. Viscott has spent three decades engineering therapeutic breakthroughs for his patients; in nearly all of these cases, it was the acceptance of some previously concealed truth that opened the way for healing to begin. The book's cardinal rule--resolve pain at the moment it arises--is remarkably simple, and it works! Read Emotional Resilience and resolve what's getting in the way of your sense of freedom and happiness now. Telling the truth and making positive choices can become a way of life.
- Sales Rank: #441884 in Books
- Published on: 1996-04-07
- Released on: 1997-04-07
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.95" h x .75" w x 5.10" l, .65 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 358 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Bestselling self-help author Viscott maintains, somewhat idealistically, that the secret of mental health is to "express your pain the moment it occurs." Blocked feelings, emotional dishonesty, lies and dissimulation defeat trust and thwart the expression of love, observes this Los Angeles psychiatrist and radio show host. In a pragmatic handbook for self-healing, he outlines "natural therapy," a system for being truthful about one's feelings, whether through leveling with one's partner, coming to terms with an old hurt or accepting a painful loss. "Emotional debt," i.e., the withholding of feeling, generates unresolved inner conflicts, stress, anger, guilt, depression. "Toxic nostalgia," the intrusion of buried feelings and attitudes into the present, can take many forms, he says, including anxiety attacks, somatic complaints, prejudices, playing the victim and self-destructiveness. Viscott also identifies three basic character types?dependent, controlling, competitive?based on a person's use of defense mechanisms such as denial, pretense and blame. Notwithstanding the jargon, the writing is clear and straightforward. Author tour.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Do-it-yourself home therapy with a 100,000-copy first printing.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
In an age when 12-step programs abound to help people control addictions, contain anxieties, and cast off emotional baggage from the past, Viscott proposes doing it all in 10 steps. His method, which includes truth telling, acceptance of self and others, letting go of the past and of false expectations, and taking responsibility for one's life, is for those trapped in emotionally confining situations, whether personal relationships, educational impasses, or financial situations. Besides the 10 steps, however, he stresses a single, seemingly simple rule: resolve pain the moment it arises. This maxim he bases on the conviction that revealing true feelings will heal one's life. Telling the truth simplifies, he maintains, allowing one to discharge pain from the past instead of retaining and distorting it. Lies complicate, leading one to let memories become symbols of stored traumas and blocking the natural therapeutic process: expressing feelings, mourning losses and forgiving, admitting lies and the motivations behind them, and creating productive lives all become harder. Whitney Scott
Most helpful customer reviews
37 of 38 people found the following review helpful.
Heal and Change Your Life Now!!
By STEPHEN PLETKO
+++++
Do you know what these are?
(1) Lie.
(2) Try to change or fix others.
(3) Expect the person who hurt you to apologize.
(4) Expect others to recognize your goodness or accomplishments.
(5) Wait for permission to do what is best for you.
These are 5 truths of things NOT to do to change and heal your life. They are found in the brief last chapter of this book by the late Dr. David Viscott, a well-known psychiatrist. There are 8 more of these don'ts. As well, there are 14 truths that you should do to heal and change your life. (This makes for a total of 27 "Dos and Don'ts.")
This book is a kind of handbook to successfully get through the emotional bumps of life that everybody encounters. Viscott explains more eloquently:
"This book is designed to help you achieve and preserve your emotional resilience, so you can face the difficult threats of the present and manage them effectively without being drained, feeling bad about yourself, or second-guessing your actions."
This book centers around three main concepts:
(1) Natural Therapy: refers to the spontaneous process (that this book advocates) that enables healing and change to occur.
(2) Emotional Debt: the condition of withholding feelings. This works on the principle that when feelings are not expressed, a condition of tension is created. Thus, emotional stress is the pressure of unexpressed feelings. What you want to strive for is to limit emotional debt.
(3) Toxic Nostalgia: the intrusion of past feelings into the present that bring up fear, anger, or hurt. These past feelings are stored in emotional debt.
Finally, this is a surprisingly easy book to read. There is no tedious psychobabble to contend with and you will begin learning right away.
In conclusion, read this book and resolve what's bothering you and getting in the way of your sense of freedom and happiness right now!!
(first published 1996; acknowledgments; introduction; 14 chapters; main narrative 355 pages; index)
+++++
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Will feel almost as if you're having an indvidual session with author!
By Blaine Greenfield
Heard EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE, written and read by
Dr. David Viscott.
The book suggests a way of life, in which we can communicate
more freely with the people we love without baggage from our
past . . . Viscott discusses the forces that block feelings,
and he presents useful techniques for overcoming the obstacles
that can create unhappiness and unnecessary tensions in
our lives.
In some respects, listening was probably better than reading
EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE because it felt almost as if the
author was speaking to me in a one-on-one therapy session.
Among the many insights that I gained were the following:
* Express your pain the minute it occurs.
* Guilt has no purpose.
* People will love you because you're human, not because you're
perfect.
* What you avoid imprisons you.
And these do's and don't at the conclusion:
* Stop trying to prove yourself.
* Be kind to yourself every day.
* Find something to be grateful for.
* Don't try, just be.
* Don't try to change or fix others.
* Don't expect the person who hurt you to apologize.
* Don't expect people to be nicer to you than they
are to themselves.
* Don't expect others to understand you.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Concise presentation with a hopeful outlook
By Jeff Davidson
The crux of Viscott's message in Emotional Resilience is that individuals must resolve pain the moment it arises in order to become resilient. He presents his ideas in 10 steps and adopts a therapy-focused tone. This book brilliantly addresses how individuals who are struggling with unexpressed feelings and pain from their past can make breakthroughs.
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